Tuesday, January 13, 2009
yes... i am emo today!
this emo-ness really affects me quite a little
i am very quiet today after the incident....
no laughter...
keep dazing....
in deep tots....
i really won't mind whether my friends are on my side or not
they can choose to be neutral...
cuz it doesn't matter them at all...
it's something between me and her...
an incident that took place years ago...
bt somehow, i can still remember everything so vivdly after so long...
yes.... u can say that im petty, narrow-minded, pessimistic, stupid, dumb, wadeva...
BUT
pls don't point fingers at me and saying that i caused everything
and that i choose to quarrel with her n now end up like that
cuz u simply dunno everything and anything
u dunno what is between us
what did i do
u dunno if i put in my very best to ask for forgiveness
u dunno a thing!!!
whatever i did, only me n her know the best
bt she choose to ignore me, like i do not exist at all!
u dunno my pain
no matter how much i try to avoid her
i still see her in sch
u dunno how much i felt like quitting sch during yr 1 when all these things happen
u dunno how much it hurts me
to her, i mayb just another friend
bt to me, she was my important friend
cuz as u said
i got not many friends
really...
not many
less than 10 i guess
yes! im not popular
i dun have a big circle of friends
bt do u think i choose to not have friends?
i am super affected by the words u said
tt's y i raised my voice at u
i nearly lost my temper
bt i know... i cannot vent my anger on u
i have to control my emotions
cuz i dun wish to lose an important friend again with my emotions
i learnt a GREAT lesson from tt experience
tt's y now i can only laugh, smile n joke with my friends
never will i show my emotions (negative ones) to them again
i promise myself that b4
blogging is the only way that i can vent out my unhappiness
dun worry...
i will be fine again after writing such a long post
bt again, i will continue to avoid her
especially her eyes...
not becux i feel guilty
is becux i cannot stop myself from feeling upset
in order to prevent myself from feeling sad
the only thing is to avoid
and escape from the whole prob
cuz this prob can NEVER NEVER be solved
not that i want to
is that i am being forced to
10:21 PM
